i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
