go do what you do best...puke behind churches
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
