i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
