arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
