no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
