is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
