Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
