Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm always down for nudity.
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