dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
