Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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