I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
