her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so let's talk penis.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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