Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
