We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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