Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's never too late to be topless.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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