woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
