Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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