they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
