I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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