this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
