The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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