Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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