I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
