Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
