So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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