I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
wow bdsm is so cute
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
