if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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