I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need a beard to bite.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
