soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
