Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
