dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
