I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
