At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
