SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I fill condoms, not promises.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
