coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
