Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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