Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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