Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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