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• (855): View more from

  I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?

  (855): View more from

  No. I am devastated

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  didn't that happen to you last weekend?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.

  Fav 16 3396 1275

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy

  Fav 11 3618 1343

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me

  Fav 3 1125 629

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion

  Fav 0 9 37

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