I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
