the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
