Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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