I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
