I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
