I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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