Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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