do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
