she smelled like a LAN party
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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