There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
