I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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