SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
handjob tips. give me some.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
