break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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