I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
