Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So. Much. Porn.
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